I Couldn’t Think Of A Title.

I think I’m accidentally starting to become a morning person, and I’m not really sure what to do with that yet.  I’ve always been a night owl, it’s kind of throwing a kink in……… son-of-a-bitch.  I’m becoming an old lady.  What a crock of shit.  Fucking wrinkle cream, night sweats, and waking up early for no apparent reason.  Damn it!

Yep.  That was self-realization #468 of being a 30-year-old.  And self-realization #469 is, “and this year I will go from a 30-year-old to a 30-something.”  Fuck.  This.  Shit.

Sorry about that.  My brain sometimes likes to kick me in my metaphorical balls for no apparent reason at the most random inopportune times.  Now I’m so distracted, I have no idea what I was going to write about to begin with.

*Insert 45 minute delay here*

I don’t remember exactly where I was going with the morning person thing, but I did have a point to this initially and it had some kind of reference to my post from yesterday.  Now my point is just simply, I have no idea, but I’m going to type this real fast because I have to piss like a racehorse.

One of my favorite people asked me about my post yesterday.  It made a lot of sense to her because she knew the story behind the story, but the part that I thought was great, besides her knowing me too well was that as soon as she asked me, I assumed that she had assumed my tone of voice while writing the post.

Which made me think about how everyone else perceived it.

I will tell you this.  I was in an extremely fantastic mood when I wrote that post.

Friendship.

Well aren’t you lucky?  You don’t hear from me for a whole week and then you get me twice in one day!

Sometimes I find myself so caught up in my surroundings, I forget to listen to what’s really in my core.  Maybe it’s because it’s a distraction from having to feel an emotion from a direct experience?  Maybe I’m being persuaded by the world that has force-fed all of us that we’re supposed to search outside of ourselves for fulfillment and joy?  Or maybe it’s just simply because I’m human and it comes with the territory of reaction?

Have you ever just stopped and tried to take control of your mind?  But it just keeps on going.  A million miles an hour it feels like.  Relentlessly resisting your attempts to shift your self-awareness inward.  There you are.  On a ride.  Stuck to the wall.  Spinning so incredibly fast that you have no choice but to conform when the floor gives way beneath your feet.  When you finally get off, you’re a little dizzy and you stumble a tad, but you regain your footing and you take the next step and go on your merry way.  The fear that you were transfixed on is released and the tension that engulfed your entire body disperses so slowly, but so quickly that you feel more weightless than you did on the ride.  You’re free.

I finally wrestled my way free and started to focus and reflect as I often like to do.  For some reason everyone always brings their shit to my table.  And then they get mad for me telling them how it is.

I keep to myself.  Other people’s business isn’t my business, and quite frankly, if it doesn’t directly effect my life, I really don’t give a rat’s ass who got married, or knocked up, or arrested, or fat.

Be Present.

They’re too often overlooked  

HAVE AN AWESOME WEEK!!  XOXO